I have no small amount of difficulty in identifying the exact moment that I first encountered Frijjo Birkijoniz. I first came to know her by that name less than two years ago, but Her appearance in my life long predates this. Coming to know FB has been an ongoing process, so I will have to combine prompts 2 and 26 in order to give a most accurate and precise account. Even doing my best, the chronology may still be a little muddy.
The Lady of The Birches
Not long after I first became a heathen, roughly at the age of fourteen or fifteen (1995 or 1996), I became aware of a deep and abiding spiritual presence among the birch trees. I spent my summers as a child out in the forests and mountains of Vermont, which are graced with many stands of stately white birches. I remember encountering the "Lady of the Birches", as I came to call her, in my quiet and solitary moments. She was silent, cloaked in birch bark, and shining with an inner light. She did not exactly fit with any of the goddesses I was learning about in the lore, so I inwardly acknowledged here presence, but gave nothing more of myself. Her existence was real, our encounters were real, but not in the same way as my early encounters with the Old Man, which tended to be startlingly physical, and not at all mystical, or with the Thunderer who I would cavort naked with as the trees bent an the rain pelted against my flesh.
It was when I began my study of the runes that I connected the presence I had felt in the birch groves to the mysterious goddess present in the Berkano rune-stave. Many of my experiences of the goddess lined up with the meaning hidden in that rune. The ideas of silence, enigma, and obfuscation which I experienced in my runic meditation and study were the same experiences I had as I walked among the birch trees.
At the time that I began to study the runes in depth I was still fairly involved in Native American spiritual practices (in a relatively appropriation-free context; I have been fortunate to work with several respected elders from a number of nations), especially the sweat-lodge ceremony. From these experiences I drew a connection to the purification aspect of Berkano, particularly once I learned that scourging with birch boughs is a traditional aspect of sauna culture. Thus my birch goddess revealed herself as the matron of the sweat-bath.
Most of these ideas had gelled in my mind by about the summer of 2001. Right about at that time, however I drifted away from any sort of participation in heathenry, due in large part to the fairly toxic online heathen scene. I continued to study the runes, but most of my practice became geared toward chaos magic, and I moved away from a religious interpretation of my heathenry. If you had asked me what my religion was during that period, I would almost certainly have told you that I was a heathen, but to be quite frank, that was simply not what I was doing. I spent about a decade in this state, exploring gnosticism, chaos magic, folk catholicism, and finally zoroastrianism. Then I woke up.
What I Learned From Frigg
In the winter between 2010 and 2011 I began to reach out once more to other heathens, and, more crucially, to reconnect with my own heathen practice. I dusted off my hammer and assembled my stullon (portable altar) and blot tools. In a moment of inspiration, I constructed a besom of birch twigs to use in place of an evergreen tine for reddening (sprinkling of the offering) following the blot. I consecrated this tool to the Lady of the Birches. Functionally, I had returned to her, but the process had not yet completed itself.
It was in January of 2011 that I first met my good friend S, a fellow heathen living nearby. We hit it off immediately, and decided to begin a series of study sessions, focusing on a god or class of wight every two weeks. the very first god we chose to study was Frigg since neither one of us knew very much about her. During the weeks of study, I experienced a series of series of strange omens, culminating in a night when an owl spent several hours trying to break into my house through the bedroom window. As we sat down to discuss Frigg, I became aware of a familiar presence. Here again was that same thunderous silence, that same secrecy and enigma. Could it be possible that Frigg and the Lady of the Birches were one and the same?
The qualities of FB which I discovered through my study of Frigg include an association with the art of spinning. In the lore, Frigg is said to spin the thread (urlagaz) from which wyrd (wurdiz) is woven. She knows all but reveals little. Additionally, she presides over the family, which is the seat of tradition (siduz), which, in turn, is the basis of culture.
Synthesis
As I began my rapprochement with heathenry, it became clear to me that I needed to systematize my approach. I had never felt wholly comfortable with the Norse pantheon. It was close, but still felt foreign to my experience of the Holy Powers. Likewise, the Anglo-Saxon and every other historical Germanic tradition just seemed "off". When I called the holy names in Proto-Germanic, however, I felt a deep and pure resonance. This would be my path then: a new siduz springing from a source lost in pre-history, and Frijjo Birkijoniz would be my teacher.
I have completed three major tasks for my goddess. I found her proper name and have called her thus. I completed an icon for her and have rendered sacrifice to her through it. Finally, this past July I undertook a three day fast at her request. As I write this, I have just laid out an offering of elder flower liqueur to her.
May her name resound through the generations. May those who call her be blessed with her sublime presence.
Haili thu Frijjo Birkijoniz. Ek lubo thek.
Most excellent.
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